Fresh Friday 2/15

Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade and LeBron James look flawless in their tailored suits and lux footwear.

Djimon Honsou always pleases us with his smooth skin tone and equally smooth style.

Boris Kodjoe can do no wrong, especially when it comes to his wardrobe which is always as handsome as the man.

Maxwell had us from hello with a silky voice — and an equally smooth wardrobe.

Whether he is suited and booted or laid back with jeans and sneakers, Usher always oozes style.

Even with one foot in a cast, there’s no denying Idris Elba’s stylish swag.

There’s nothing Common about this artists sense of style.

Fonsworth Bentley is known for his gentlemanly style, which continues to influence a generation of young men.

Ray J swings from corporate to streetwear in seconds. But no matter where on the spectrum he lands, he always has a stylish swag.

Prince: enough said.

Which one is your favorite?

After Work Special….

After Work Special
Ingredients:
3 oz. Amaretto
2 oz. Coconut Rum
1 oz. White Rum
6 oz. Orange Juice
6 oz. Pineapple Juice

Method: Pour Amaretto, coconut rum, and white rum over ice in Hurricane glass. Add orange juice and pineapple juice to taste.

Drink Responsibly

Fly Friday 2/15

8 Fly Females Share the Gift of Self-LoveF
In Her Shoes Home | 14 Feb 2013

Hello Beautiful People! While yesterday Valentine’s Day women, men, boys, and girls cross the country where using this day as an opportunity to express love to others, I’m going to flip the script a little and find out why some of the most inspiring women I know love themselves. Yes, themselves! Demonstrating self-love begins with self-acceptance and finding fulfillment from within is the first sacred step to TRUE happiness. What do some of the most respected and successful women in media, beauty, fashion, art, and entertainment love, accept, and embrace most about themselves? Let’s find out!

I love myself when I’m laughing with my daughter and when my head is in my mama’s lap. I love myself when I’m treating my body like I know the divine is all up in there. I love myself when I take time to be still, when I’m in service of sisters. I love myself when I’m surrounded by the support & kindness of my girls.

– Michaela Angela Davis: Image Activist, Founder of MAD Free

I really love my skin. Flaws and all! From its tone, its texture, to the beautiful chameleon-like shades it turns seasonally. From the summer sun-kissed bronzed cocoa to the winter fair caramel. I love the beauty of its imperfections…like the slight scar I got when I had the chicken pox just above my lip that I now call my beauty mark. Even when its temperamental I am able to still see its beauty genetically. I’m always discovering beauty products to enhance the parts I love the most, like my cheek bones. All in all, I love the skin God put me in!

– Dorian Grace: Owner, DLUX NJ Boutique

One of the things I love about myself is my optimism. I have days like everyone else, full of disappointments and frustrations as well as triumphs. I LOVE that I am hard-wired to find the silver lining in my experiences. It helps me to remain centered.

– Jamyla Bennu: Co-founder, Oyin Handmade

I love that I love change and I rarely run away from it. In fact, I run toward it and embrace it and am never satisfied with the status quo. I love that I am compassionate; spiritual and emotionally mature. I love that I am passionate about the creative process, its the business execution and the fact that I actively utilize both sides of my brain.

– Marcia Cole: CEO, Ivy Digital, LLC, founder of AMBERmag.com

I love how confident I feel after I have a fresh haircut or when I’m rocking a new dress. I love how much I appreciate my opinion and following my first mind. I love the tenacity, drive and passion I have for my work! I love how I want everyone to feel just as good as I do about life on a regular basis. And what I love most about myself is that I recognize that I’m a beautiful, proud, black woman who has the ability to choose whatever I want and not have to settle for anything that doesn’t feel good to me!

– Felicia Leatherwood, Celebrity Hair Stylist and founder of Loving Your Hair with Natural Care Workshops

I love most that I am a joyful person (Abiola means joy!) who knows how to turn her life messes into helpful and inspiring messages. As a dating, relationships and life coach, I have learned that no matter what we’ve experienced, we all deserve love. Passion and self love are the path to everything we desire. I am a teacher and a student, still learning, still empowering, and still making her messes into messages.

– Abiola Abrams: Passionate Living Coach

I love most that I am stubbornly and courageously committed to my dreams, and that amidst all the struggles I face in achieving them, I find strength in my vulnerability.

– Ariana Proehl: Creator and Host, Know This! TV

I love that I surround myself with good people. I love that I have the confidence to live the life I’ve imagined and inspire others to do the same. And I love that I’m not afraid to laugh at myself.

– Amber Lee Forrester: Founder, Kane and Couture

So beauties, what do you love most about YOURSELF?

Celebrating 40!

It took 40 years to get here and I’m not done yet, as we go thru the years they say with age brings wisdom and this I have found to be true because I’m not who I used to be. Most people make bucket lists I make a Persona List, this list represents what I plan to accomplish for the up coming year and what wever birthday year I will be turning I develop those number of goals. Ex: Last year while 39 I made 39 items to finish before my 40th birthday and here are a few things I would like to share with you.

Getting to Know Me A Re-Evaluation

How I did it: I realised that no matter what, I do love myself. I love the things that I do for other people, and if I continue to do things to help others then I will feel better about myself. I realise that I am not a bad person, I am a good friend and family member, and although I have some failed relationships, I am one kick ass girlfriend/wife and a man would be lucky to have me as his lady. I have badass mommy skillz, I am fun to be around, I have many adventures and I am rather witty and intelligent. I love being me. I love it all, faults and all I am good enough for myself. It made me happier and content!

Looking at folks in the eyes
How I did it:though uncomfortable at times, was never really the problem. Remembering to do so on the other hand was the primary issue. The routine email reminders ensured I would make an effort to look people in the eyes. “Took an incredibly long time and a lot of effort, but in the end it was worth everything that I put into it.”

Stop procrastinating
How I did it: I set it as the main goal. Even if I didn’t feel like doing something, I pushed myself to do it until it became habit. I taught myself to go headfirst into whatever comes at me, regardless of what it may be.

Lessons & Tips: Just push yourself to do what needs to be done. That is exactly what I did and look where it got me!

Resources: Willpower.

Love & Be Loved
How I did it: I simply accepted God’s love as the greatest love. Everything else pales in comparison. I can never love Him as much as He loves me. As for the love of a man, I’m patient. When he comes I’ll be ready. I feel contented.”

Resources: The Word of God

Have Patience
How I did it: I controlled my temper, went out of the room, had to count to ten (100at times) – all the things recommended to do when you’re at risk to loose it – and it helped me. It took some time for me to believe in these things, but seeing once that it worked, I tried again and with every step I got more confident that I can be and stay patient with my family, my children, myself and the rest of the world. =) I’m not saying that I am completely and 100 % patient. I’m not looking for perfection here. But these techniques (staying calm, counting, leaving the room, even meditating) worked to improve my situation a lot. I am more quiet, more at peace with myself and my family.”

Living Instead Of ExistingI’m feeling so positive about this today. I’m beginning to realise that the small things do count. I used to let myself get down about the fact I wasn’t going anywhere exotic, or taking part in some truly life changing activity, etc. Every little small thing and new experience adds up.

I’ve decided to combine this goal with two of my others: to go out more, and to make the most of everyday. It’s the same thing I’m working towards, really.

“Rewarding”
How I did it: I always thought you could control everything in your life but after screwing a lot of things up (as you do in your 20s) I just let go and decided to see what what would happen.

Lessons & Tips: Remember the first time you tried snorkeling or just putting your head underwater? It’s the same thing you just need to trust that everything will be ok

A Healthier Lifetsyle
How I did it: I started eating healthier, drinking more water and actually working out again. Pilates, yoga and cardio. Plus meditating and coming to terms with the things that were making me feel hopeless and unhappy. I’m very proud of myself for what I have done so far! I feel so much healthier, I look amazing and my confidence is rising 🙂 I still have low moments, but I know now I can work through them and survive! “so worth it”

I Am So Looking Foward To 40!
I’m celebrating for all those who didn’t make it this far…

Happy Birthday!

What Are Men To Grown To Do….

What Are Men To Grown To Do!
As Told By A Fellow Male Friend:
The late, great R&B singer Aaliyah early in her career had a hit song titled Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number. In this song, she talks about a girl wanting to date an older guy, and that their ages don’t matter.

I heard this song the other day on Pandora radio and kind of joked around with my wife about how the song title can be applied to activities and actions of grown men. Let me explain.

I personally think that when it comes to stuff that I see some grown men doing, they must think that “Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number.” I say that because, for example, 40 and 50 year old men acting like they are half that age must take that stance, right?

Cedric the Entertainer comically discussed how he was a “grown-a** man” and too old for immature behavior in the Original Kings of Comedy. And as I grow older and find myself settled down as a father and husband, it’s like my “he’s too old for that” senses are heightened and leave me shaking my head in disappointment on a daily basis.

I see it everyday. I see grown men that are simply just too old for:
-Not having a job
-Living at home with his parents
-Running in an out of trouble with the law
-Not taking care of children
-Wearing pants halfway off their butts
-No financial plan
-Why Does This Pose A Problem?

Anytime men act like anything but a man, it creates an opportunity for women to stereotype and generalize. A lot of immature actions by men leave women wondering, “where all the good men are” or asking “why won’t men just be men?” Plus, it makes great guys look bad. It’s a shame if you ask me and guys should take note.

Ladies (especially single ladies), if you are encountering guys that act of engage in immature actions/behavior, don’t let that discourage you from meeting Mr. Right. He’s out there, trust me!

I said all that to ask you this week’s Question of the Week:

What Are Grown Men Too Old For?

What actions or activities do you see grown men doing that just are not fitting? Ladies, maybe you’ve dated a man that engaged in something that did not seem like a grown man would do. Or guys, what have you seen some of your peers doing that you just didn’t understand for their age? Whatever your feedback is about the question of the week, feel free to share in the comment section.

Raising An Entrepreneur…..

Raising An Entrepreneur The mind of a child is unparalleled. Bursting with creativity and fearlessness, most children do not see boundaries, only possibilities. For parents, tapping into that creativity can mean the fruition of a million-dollar business, or self sufficiency at an early age. After all, the R. Donahue Peebles and Michael Lee Chins of the world have to get their start somewhere.

Whether it was realizing how easy it is to part fellow classmates with their allowances, or realizing how neighbors can use the extra energy of the kid-next-door to rake leaves, or clean out attics, there is an inner entrepreneur lying within most children, ready to be uncovered.

“Kids are amazingly willing to put themselves out there,” says Candi Sparks, author of the personal finance book series for youngsters, Can I Have Some Money (Sparks Fly; $11.99). “They sell Girl Scout cookies door-to-door and candy on the subway. We have to get them to realize the importance of the talent they posses.”
BlackEnterprise.com spoke with Sparks about how parents and mentors can nurture a child’s inner entrepreneur while still having fun. BlackEnteprise.com: If a parent realizes her child has great ideas or talents that can generate money, or want to teach children how to make their own money, where should she start?

Get [your child] to realize that their talent is just as important, beautiful and wonderful as anything they can buy in the store. You’re moving them away from a consumerism mentality and getting them to be a producer. They’re bringing value out of themselves for others to see and appreciate, and they’ll appreciate it in the form of buying it. Parents, you are their marketing and strategy support system, but it’s really about the child’s enthusiasm and appreciation of what they can do.
Once you’ve zeroed in on that enthusiasm, how should parents go about helping their children get organized?

Once you define the talent and narrow down the passion, parents need to teach children the language of money and the language of business. Kids need to understand, as an investor, they’re putting their money out there. It really gives them a personal experience with getting their own investors and how that seed money is handled. This way when they get older they’re familiar with the language of a stock market.

Children need to understand that they have to be accountable for what you do with money, and it’s really just about boiling it down to a child’s level. You can help children develop accountability by keeping track of sales and inventory. This is going to help with a business plan as well. It doesn’t have to be too technical because you don’t want to take the fun out of it. Work with your child mapping out their target market, how much they will sell their product or service for, startup costs, when and where they will sell their product or service, and how much they expect to make.

What main points about investing in a business should a parent focus on?
Financially, it is a good idea to plan ahead for how money will be allocated in terms of startup costs, and when the business makes money. If family is investing in a new business, talk with you child about what investors expect from a business. You can introduce the idea that companies try to make money, and they may also lose money. Investors know that the company needs them to make money and they want to invest in companies that will help them to make that money back, and turn a profit.
This is an opportunity to talk to your child about the stock market. If your child has no knowledge of what the stock market is about, you can tell them it is like a report card of how certain companies did that day.

The news will report that the company had more investors, or maybe the company did not reach the projected earnings, or whatever it was on that day. Help your child to see the connection between the potential profit or loss for their own small business and what happens in the stock market. Once a child start bringing in some sort of profit, what should be the parent and child’s next step?

They should plot out how the earnings will be allocated. How much of your child’s earnings will go into the bank? How much needs to be re-invested back into the business? What can be spent on fun? Write this down. It makes for a good way to measure and track the progress of the business and your child’s earnings and savings.

For more on awakening your child’s inner entrepreneur, check out:
RaisingEntrepreneurs.org
TeachingKidsBusiness.com

Valentine’s Day For The Men….

Real Talk: 5 Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Man
By Demetria L. Lucas

Tweet Are you ready for Valentine’s Day? To me, it seems like it just snuck up this year. But luckily I have the weekend to fetch a gift for my dude — so do you.

Rewind. Yes, you read that right. Your man should be getting a gift. From you. On Valentine’s Day. If he has been on point this year — and he better have been, if you’re still claiming him — he is deserving of a gift. V-Day isn’t just about women receiving; it’s about giving too.

Don’t know what to get him? Skip the stuff we like — though a sexy new lingerie set for you may be the gift that keeps on giving for him. But no, really. Don’t buy that man chocolate, roses, flowers, or anything else girly! Your man wants a man-gift, and I have the list of items that will make him break out a for-real smile, not a fake one as he wonders, “What in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is this?!” Keep in mind: My list is general, and gifts are best when they have a personal touch. Tailor your selection to your man’s likes — you should know them well since you’re his lady.

Electronics:
Men are basic. Load an iPod shuffle with a playlist he’ll enjoy (updated version of an old-school mixtape), or head to Home Depot and see what’s new in stock. If it has an on/off switch, and especially if it goes vroom or bang or pow, you can’t go wrong. Even if he hates it, his thrill in going to the hardware store or a Best Buy will redeem you plenty.

Sports Paraphernalia:
It doesn’t matter if football season is over. His love for his favorite team still lives on, and basketball is still in session. Get a hat, a jersey, or a tee with his favorite team’s logo or just get anything with the team colors. He can wear it with pride to the sports bar when he bonds with the boys over a beer and the next big game.

Kicks:
Many men take their shoe collection very seriously, as serious as we take ours. Head to Nike.com to create an exclusively designed shoe just for him (consider adding the colors of his favorite team). Or, if he’s really picky (like my dude), get a gift certificate so he can create a pair himself.

Cologne:
Your man takes pride in smelling good. Check his supply to see what he’s running low on and re-stock it for him. He’ll appreciate that you’ve been paying attention. Also, don’t be afraid to add to his collection with a scent for him that drives you wild. Even if he doesn’t love the smell, he will love your reaction to it.

Sex:
Let’s not front. Valentine’s Day is a day of romance! And there’s no better way to end the night than with a lil’ somethin’ somethin,’ as Maxwell called it. Out of the thousands of men I’ve interviewed about romance, the ideal went something like this: spending a nice time with their lady, having a nice conversation, and then some luvin’ to top it off! It’s a gift for him, and a “gift” for you. Put it on him, ladies! And enjoy!

Demetria L. Lucas is the author of “A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life” (Atria), in stores now. Follow her on Twitter @abelleinbk

Whitney Houston 2013

Whitney Houston In Memory

by Denene@MyBrownBaby on February 11, 2012
Whitney Houston Dies At 48—A Sad Farewell To An Icon We Absolutely Adore
If you where anything like me, When I wake up in the morning one of my favorites song’s that lift me up is “I’m Every Woman”, with my toothbrush in hand and dancing around saying I gotit yeah…along with Chaka Khan at her best. You couldn’t go anywhere and not see someone doing some kind of rendention of a Whitney Houston song. My God—my heart is absolutely broken over the death of Whitney Houston. Just… broken. To consider that this songbird, this lead actress in some of my favorite films, this woman, this daughter, this mother—this icon whom I absolutely idolized as a young woman—is gone from here is almost too much to bear.

I struggle with the words. But I do have the memories. They come in snippets… me spending my Friday nights down in the basement of my childhood home, my mother’s turkey baster in my hand, staring at MTV and rocking out to “How Will I Know,” and “Saving All My Love For You,” imagining myself singing them to my crush… me standing in the doorway of the bathroom, watching my mother run her fingers through her brownish red curls and thinking she was Whitney’s twin… me and my girls coming back from seeing The Bodyguard, so excited that she’d slayed it in a movie that, to this day, I still watch when it’s on TV… me getting absolutely amped to see her and Angela Bassett and Loretta Divine and Lela Rochon breathe film life into one of my favorite books, “Waiting To Exhale”—and putting black women on the silver screen in a big way… me being just a wee-bit jealous that she’d nabbed Bobby Brown, one of the favorite guys from my favorite childhood boy group, New Edition… me watching her power through Chaka’s “I’m Every Woman” in that beautiful video and thinking, “Yeah, Whitney—sing that song!” and feeling inspired… me kicking off every Christmas season with my babies by pumping up the volume on our Christmas mix, which always leads off with Whitney’s version of “Joy To the World,” from the soundtrack of The Preacher’s Wife.

We all loved Whitney. Had so many reasons to. Wanted her to kick those demons in the ass. To come back to us, stronger, better. Healed. And new.

But now, she is gone from here.

Fly with the angels, Whitney Houston. What a day of rejoicing it will be when you get to Heaven.

Put The Glass Down!!!

The Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students “How much do you think this glass weighs?”
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“50 grams! 100grams!’ …..’125 grams’ …the students answered.
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“I really don’t know unless I weigh it,” said the professor, “but, my question is:
What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?”…. .
‘Nothing’ …..The students said.
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‘Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?’ the professor asked.
‘Your arm would begin to ache’ said one of the students
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“You’re right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?”
“Your arm could go numb; you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!”
….. Ventured another student & all the students laughed
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“Very good, But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?” Asked the professor,
‘No’…. Was the answer…?
“Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?”
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The students were puzzled.
“What should I do now to come out of pain?” asked professor again.
“Put the glass down!” said one of the students
.
“Exactly!” said the professor.
Life’s problems are something like this.
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Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK.
Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache.
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Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything.
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It’s important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to ‘PUT THEM DOWN’ at the end of every day before you go to sleep…
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That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
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Moral
So, when you start your day today, Remember friend to ‘PUT THE GLASS DOWN TODAY! ‘

Welcome To Your Evolution
Love Life. Do Good. Live Well.

Fly Friday Valentine Day Special 2/8

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner we thought we’d get a jump start on giving you some ideas for the special occasion. If you are in need of special assistance for this day, we also offer personal styling services. Send an email to Janique@hergoodybag.com or click the Betterfly link in the right side bar. Ok now with all of that said, here are some outfit ideas for Valentine’s Day.

The first look consists of a cocktail dress, pumps, and bold jewelry. You can never go wrong wearing a cocktail dress. Most likely you have one in your house that you have never worn or you haven’t worn in years (or maybe I’m just the guilty one). Cocktail dresses are simple and easy to accessorize. You do not have to choose red, you can choose any color that you would like, as long as it compliments your skin tone.

Date Night Look by janiquehgb featuring short evening dresses
The second look is a little more sophisticated. Cocktail dresses are usually very sexy. So if you are more conservative, you can wear a pencil skirt and a nice blouse with a pair of ankle boots. I like the raspberry and teal color combination so I decided to mix those colors.

Dinner and Dancing by janiquehgb featuring a pencil skirt
The last look is a bit spicy. It features an intricately detailed black jumpsuit with spiked heels, rosette clutch and bold cocktail ring. The design of the jumpsuit is edgy yet sexy. The straight leg allows you to wear almost any type of shoe but I would go with a pump. Because the jumpsuit is all black, I decided to add blue spiked heels for some contrast.

Jumpsuits and Blue by janiquehgb featuring a floral clutch
This is just part 1. Stay tuned for part 2 coming later this week!