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Motivational Monday 3/20

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8 week “Life Work” Series (week #7)

Personally Speaking…

We all want to live a life of meaning, joy, and fulfillment. But let’s be honest… it’s not easy!

Finding our passions, defining our purpose, and balancing all the many aspects of a complete and rich life… this stuff takes work! 

Living a life that has some kind of meaning is one of the most widely held goals in existence — something by which we motivate and measure ourselves.

While there is no single answer, research has shown that there are several factors that influence our ability to find satisfaction and meaning in life.

Here then are a few pointers:

~ Figure out what activities leave you energized. There are other types of activities that make us feel alive. These are activities that we look forward to, that we focus on completely, and finish having more energy than when we started. These are also the activities that we give our best energy to and that we try to make the highest quality.

    • Energizing activities are often our hobbies, like working on machines, collecting items, writing, gardening, cooking, and so on.
    • The important thing to remember about these activities is that they require movement on our part—it does not mean watching TV or other screen-watching.

~ Determine what activities leave you feeling neutral. Some activities we engage in because they don’t require us to do anything, like sitting and watching TV. These activities don’t drain us, but they don’t energize us either. If your life is predominantly full of draining activities, you look forward to these neutral activities so that you don’t have to do anything else.[2]

    • Neutral activities can also include surfing the internet, playing games on your smart phone, and other activities that involve watching screens.
    • These activities don’t require brainpower, but they don’t leave you feeling refreshed.

~ Decide what activities drain you. In order for life to have meaning, it needs to have purpose. Take a look at the activities that you engage in on a daily basis and evaluate how many of those activities make you feel worn out after you finish them. These are also the activities that you dread doing, having to give yourself a pep talk to get going.[3]

    • These activities are also ones that you find yourself rushing through and not caring as much about how well you do them.
    • For example, if you hate your job, each shift can be considered a draining activity.

~ Decide if your career lines up with this plan. You are probably already thinking about your job and whether or not you should keep it if it is a draining activity. The choice is up to you. You have to take stock of things, like how much your family suffers because of your attitude toward work, and if you would be able to find another source of income if you quit.

    • For example, if you have a family who is tired of watching you come home every day without any energy, you may want to think about getting a different, less draining job; cutting back your hours instead of quitting; or finding a new source of income altogether, like starting your own business selling the product you make (or the service you perform) with your energizing activity.
    • You can also consider going back to school while you still have your old job if you feel that a different career would make your life more purposeful and meaningful.
    • The important thing, though, is to find a balance among energizing, neutral, and draining activities.

~ Be willing to explore new pursuits. Being open-minded about trying new things is also important when considering how much of your life is purposeful and meaningful. Trying something that you have never tried before is the perfect way to discover energizing activities. Doing so can also help you discover a purposeful existence.

    • You can try new activities that are easy to learn about on your own through the internet, like blogging, cooking, and gardening.
    • You can also find an expert in your area who is willing to teach you how to do something new, such as taking pilot lessons or signing up for a community art class.

 ~ Do For Others  It’s no great secret that giving to others improves our own feelings of purpose and meaning. Giving can take many forms, of course: donating our time, or our talents — or simply lending a friendly ear.

Helping others seems to be strongly correlated with increased life satisfaction. Lending a helping hand can provide a sense of purpose for us, young and old.

One fascinating aspect of working for the benefit of others is that helping others improves both physical and mental health. In fact, studies show that involvement in community service activities is linked to living longer.

 

 

 

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Motivational Monday 2/27

8 wk “Life Work “Series (week#4)

Lisa Nicholas

 

 

Own Your Power By Lisa Nichols

 

1. RECOGNIZE WHERE YOU ARE

Life is compartmental: You can be effective in one area and be a hot mess in another. When you’re in breakdown, you aren’t necessarily dismantled, your hair disheveled and two steps away from wearing a white gown that ties in the back. You may still wear your flawless makeup and produce stellar results. But some areas of your life might need to be reevaluated.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Consider this: Does thinking about your credit score, your cluttered garage, your work, your health or relationship with your partner energize or drain you? If it’s the latter, then that part of your life is in breakdown and needs your attention.

2. RATE YOURSELF

Sit down with a piece of paper and list these seven environments of your life: relationships, finances, connection to nature, professional network, physical environment, health and spirituality.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: On a scale of 1 (it’s unbearable) to 5 (you love it!), rate how you feel in each area. Ask yourself; Is it okay for me to live like this for the next ten years? If the answer is yes, then it’s a 4 or 5 and you’re trending in the right direction. But if you’re simply tolerating an area of life, then that’s a 3-it may not be in the ICU, but it’s in the waiting room ER. The goal is to move every single area of your life from breakdown (1 or 2) and toleration (3) to absolute joy (4 or 5). If your simply putting up with your wrecked finances, your lack of closeness with friends, here’s the reality: it will become less tolerable over time. And everything you tolerate is taking your energy away from the bliss you could be creating.

 

3. GET CLEAR ABOUT WHAT’S DRIVING YOU

In every area of your life, are you running toward abundance and joy, or are you trying to outrun failure? It’s important that you make that distinction. Are you building relationships because you want more love in your life or because you’re afraid to be alone? A fear-based motivation will not last. So what will last? Moving toward possibility.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Ask yourself the following: Am I making relationship that result in amazing love or so that I won’t be alone? Am I working this hard to build my financial dream or to avoid being broke? Am I saying yes because I love to help or because I want to be liked? Share your honest answers with a sisterfriend.

4. UNPACK YOUR FEAR

Let’s say you want to launch a new business. You’re consumed with anxiety that you’ll fail. You ask yourself, What if I start this business and it flounders, then what? Answer the question: If your business flops, you’ll go in an altogether different direction. But eventually, you will make more money. In the meantime, your family and your real friends will support in starting again and love you in starting again and love you no matter what. When you breakdown each of your misgivings with answers based in logic rather than in emotion. I will minimize the trepidation and allow you to focus on the possibilities.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Write down a desire that makes you anxious each time you think about pursuing it. Now write down four of the worst things that could happen if you moved forward on this desire. Next write down four actions you would take to bounce back if things didn’t work out. Remember, take the emotion out of your answer, and watch the fear evaporate.

5. MAKE AN ALREADY-DONE LIST

Recall the past 3, 5 or 15 years. What are you most proud of? What have you already done? Rather that starting from deprivation, start from celebration-it’s a far more powerful place to begin. Now take out a favorite notebook and let’s get to work.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Write this heading ” I have already…” and then finish that sentence with your accomplishments. Maybe you’ve already started an awesome career, made a health change, or became a great parent. You’ve done so many things well. Acknowledge that.

6. KEEP THE END IN MIND

What would success look like in each of the seven environments of your life? Picture it. Break it up into milestones. Write that down. Your goal, for example, may be to live in prosperity, but you are deeply in debt. Set yourself up for micro wins and those that grow into macro wins.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: To shore up your finances for example, identify tasks. One may be to develop a working budget that trims your spending. Another may be to negotiate your debt down by calling up creditors. And your finish line? Perhaps it’s to have enough savings to cover all your living expenses for a year. The only way to tackle the large goal is to do one task at a time while leaving the worry about the overarching goal in the distance.

7. SHIFT YOUR MINDSET

Pay attention to your thoughts and conversations about each area of your life. I’ve heard women say, “I’m trying to make it to the end of the month.” Or “I’ll never find a good man.” A breakthrough is more than an “aha” moment-it’s a paradigm shift in which you limiting beliefs disappear. Your mind-set-what you think, repeat and profess out loud-will become your reality. You can go on as you like, but if you ultimately believe that all the good men are taken, then guess what? That’s exactly what will be true for you.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Replace your old belief with a new proclamation.Try this one: “I am on a path to finding a magnificent person I can share my life with.” Then get out of the house!

8. GET MOVING

We can, map out a plan for a break through, we can meditate on it and pray over it and pray over it, but action is what actually produces change. Folk singer Joan Beaz once said, “Action is the antidote to despair.” I’ll add that action is the prescription for success. You do the work yourself. If financial prosperity is your goal, get aggressive about finding new ways to generate income. Is there a skill set you could develop to create another revenue stream? Or if you crave a better work-life balance, what career shift can you make to carve out more time for yourself and how can you set a budget to make this possible? Or maybe you want frequent in-person time with your mate, your children or your friends. How can you rearrange your calendar and become intentional about scheduling time?

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Don’t just make a list. Get busy living out your list daily. And celebrate your wins!

 

YOUR POWER CHECK UP

Take the quiz and see how you stack up

1. Are you paying down your debt? Yes or No

Power Move: The stress of carrying debt doesn’t just deplete your bank account-it can cripple your health. Start paying down debts one at a time and watch your stress melt away.

2. Do you share a pew with your gal pals? Yes or No

Power Move: Sociologists have discovered that not only does church attendance bring inner peace but connecting with others at your place of worship heightens your sense of joy.

3. Have you truly forgiven those who have hurt you? Yes or No

Power Move: Forgiveness is an amazing gift: Reasearch shows that when we pardon others we also lower our blood pressure and strengthen immunity. So don’t forgive because others deserve it. Forgive because you do.

4. Do you eat fruits and veggies? Yes or No

Power Move: Noshing on veggies has many heath benefits. New Zealand researchers found that study participants who consumed more of nature’s goodies reported feeling calmer and more energetic.

5. Are you groomed for success? Yes or No

Power Move: In a 2011 Harvard study, women who moderate makeup were deemed more hireable. Authentic power comes from within-but a little red lip can’t hurt.

6. Do you hand over your burdens to a higher power? Yes or No

Power Move: You do yourself a huge favor each time you surrender your troubles. Prayer and meditation send the body into a relaxed state, which increases tranquility.

Scoring:

If you answered yes to five or 6 questions: You’re one powerful sister-you’ve set aside life’s biggest energy suckers and you’re giving yourself the nurturing you need to keep your spirits up and your dreams within reach.

If you answered yes to 3 or 4 questions: What’s love got to do with it? Everything-and you could stand to bless yourself with a little more of it. Sure, you’re moving in the right direction, but now it’s time to shift into a higher gear. Take inventory of the areas of your life that may be TLC- deprived and map out a plan to maximize your power.

If you answered yes to 1 or 2 questions: Girl, you need a major life tune-up. Consider a vacay, but to really put yourself back on the path to power, you’ll need to create a detailed plan to get to your breakthrough. Take pledge. and reach out to a pro- a counselor, a coach, a pastor, a financial advisor, a nutritionist-for some direction. We all need a lifeline at some point. Reach for your.

YOUR POWER PLEDGE

I am unique. My journey has been filled with experiences that have built my resiliency, defined my character and made me a better woman.

I am ready to cash in on my greatness, my brilliance, my God-given possibilities and my prosperity.

I will turn my valleys into my mountaintops, my obstacles into my opportunities, my tests into my testimony.

I love my cinnamon, caramel, mocha and deep chocolate skin, my full lips, my round hips and my kinky hair.

I am a masterpiece of humility, gratitude, godliness and divinity. My beauty is real. My heart is good, and my strength has been confirmed through the test of time with my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

I will show the world how to treat me—and it’s my job to give the world the best example possible.

I have turned my crawl into a walk, my walk into a run, and I’m now turning my run into my soar.

I am unapologetic about my brilliance, untamed in my quest to discover me.

I am no longer asking for permission to be me. I’m giving notice!

Article from ESSENCE magazine June 2013 issue.

 

 

Black History Month 2015

Acknowledging Maya Angelou 1928-2014

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Maya Angelou was born as Marguerite Johnson on April 4th, 1928, in St. Louis, Missouri and raised in St. Louis and Stamps, Arkansas. Maya Angelou became one of the most renowned and influential voices of our time. With over 50 honorary doctorate degrees Dr. Maya Angelou became a celebrated poet, memoirist, educator, dramatist, producer, actress, historian, filmmaker, and civil rights activist.

During the 1960s she was active in the African-American political movement; she subsequently spent several years in Ghana as editor of the African Review. Her six autobiographical volumes (1970–2002), beginning with I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, have generally been well-received. She has also published several volumes of poetry, including And I Still Rise (1987).

Her poems touched me and many others around the world. In honor of Black History Month, I would like to take this time to honor her memory. J

“If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be”

My Sista’s Business ( A Man’s Edition)…Rob Hill, Sr.

 Rob Hill, Sr.

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If you’re active on Instagram, chances are, you’re already aware of this man’s work or you’ve seen his thought-provoking quotes pop up in your timeline. Rob Hill, Sr., better known as “The Heart Healer” has touched many lives through the power of social media and the series of live events he hosts across the country. He’s been busy working on his “I Want You To Be Good” tour but took time out of his hectic schedule to chat with me about his personal quest to spread love. Get to know the military man turned relationship expert Rob Hill, Sr. today as we step In His Shoes:

In Her Shoes: The world knows you as Rob Hill, Sr., “The Heart Healer.” Tell us a bit about your journey towards healing hearts. Was this mission inspired by a desire to heal your own heart in the process?

Rob: The title kind of came about randomly. I was writing and sharing my thoughts daily in this series called “Thoughts for the Day”. I would email it out every morning at 9AM. My list started small but word of mouth helped it grow. Each day I’d get responses from whatever that day’s particular message was and it would say “you’re helping me heal” or “your words are healing my heart”. I’d get variations of those and one day somebody called me the Heart Healer, I forget who it was, but it just stuck. Writing has always been therapeutic for me. I actually believe anybody who contributes positivity to this world is a heart healer. Just like hurt people hurt people, I believe healed people can heal people, it starts with love and positivity.

 

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In Her Shoes: With an Instagram following of over 400k, your quotes and words of inspiration are retweeted, regrammed and reposted in record numbers. At what point did you realize how influential you are in the social media space?

Rob: I’m actually still kind of shocked by it all, but I first realized it in January of 2013, that’s when things really started to grow. Crazy because I didn’t start out trying to be an expert, I just wanted to get my thoughts out. I wanted to express things I really believed and lived by and it was liberating to do so. Seeing the impact it has on people has been so inspiring and comforting for me.

In Her Shoes: You’ve talked about the power of vulnerability and the beauty of embracing it. For a lot of men and women, vulnerability is oftentimes confused with weakness. Tell us about the life experience that helped you realize this wasn’t so.

Rob: It wasn’t one experience but more so a series of events that led me to this. I was always the person who never wanted to let anybody too close, I feared being hurt but that interfered with my ability to be intimate. It’s hard trying to love with a brick wall between you. Every relationship failed because I didn’t know how to let people in, I called myself guarding my heart but I was really suffocating it. One day I realized that I didn’t have many meaningful friendships or relationships because I was so great at pushing people away. I read this book called “Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and Others” by Osho and it really opened my eyes. I had to forgive myself for a lot, I had to find peace about who I was, and I had to realize how courageous showing who you really are is. Anybody can live behind a persona, mask, or character, but very few people know/like who they are enough to be authentically and unapologetically his or her self. I found it to be liberating, I no longer had to hide. I started seeing the desire to fit in as a weakness. I wanted to be strong enough to be me, and it started with being vulnerable enough to open up. So now I believe vulnerability to be true strength.

 

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In Her Shoes: How did you transition from being in the Navy from 2008-2012 to doing what you love?

Rob: I never wanted to stay in the Navy. I started writing and sharing my “Thoughts for the Day” series while I was still in. That series eventually became my first book “About Something Real” which released in September 2011. When I held the book I no longer felt like just a writer, I realized I was an author and the response for the few who read it really inspired me to continue walking that path. I released my second book “For Single People Who Still Understand the Value of Relationships” one month after I got out of the Navy and it hit #1 on Amazon’s best seller list in the category of relationships. I knew I was on the right path.

In Her Shoes: Your career as “The Heart Healer” has been quite successful, but you’ve also had some difficult times. What would you tell people who are ready to give up on their dreams?

Rob: To me, if you quit on what you love then you leave yourself the rest of your life to die at the hand of the things you hate. I can’t accept that. Yes, sometimes quitting was a thought in my head but I knew it could never be an option for my life. Struggle produces patience and endurance, both are necessary if you’re ever going to win at anything in life. It’s not easy, it’s not always pretty, but nothing real or worthwhile ever is. That’s why “living your dream” doesn’t happen for everybody, but if you truly believe it’s for you then you can’t quit, that’s an insult to everybody who believed.

 

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In Her Shoes: What is a day like in Rob Hill, Sr.’s shoes? 

Rob: It’s an honor. I get to speak life into people everyday. I get to help people find peace, strength, growth, etc. Whether it’s delivering a positive message in the morning, visiting a school or recreation center to volunteer with the young Kings and Queens, and or hosting an event at night. Everyday is an opportunity for me to be the reason somebody else keeps going or gets closer to their dream. That’s a gift.

In Her Shoes: How do you balance fatherhood, your personal life and business?

Rob: I believe it to be my responsibility as a father to provide financially, support emotionally, and lead by example spiritually for my son. I’ll rarely do anything that doesn’t benefit him first. The schedule can get hectic but I believe it’s all in the effort. I’ve learned how to say no lol. That’s probably been the biggest factor in finding balance.

In Her Shoes: When it comes to love and relationships, what’s the first lesson you plan to share with your son?

Rob: Be willing to work for what you want. Be strong enough to remain patient when it doesn’t come as fast as you want. Trust yourself and your ability to decide what’s right for you. Communicate clearly and honestly. Don’t let disappointment jade you, learn the lesson in it and be better because of it. I guess that’s more than one lesson, but I’d definitely tell him all of that.

 

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In Her Shoes: Your non-profit, 1000 Kings Foundation, was created with the mission of influencing teens to live extraordinary lives and its 1st Annual Thousand Kings Walk last year was a huge success. Where would you like to see the 1000 Kings Foundation in the next few years?

Rob: I want the foundation to continue being known for service. I want to give out more scholarships, sponsor young teachers who don’t get half as much as they’re worth, and inspire families to come together. We want to restore the “it takes a village” feel to the communities.

In Her Shoes: Do you have anything exciting for summer/fall ’14 you’d like to tell us about?

Rob: I’m currently working on the “I Want You To Be Good” tour where we’re challenging attendees to step outside of the usual and go after their dreams and goals. I’m also wrapping up edits for my new book “The Missing Piece” which should be out before the end of the year, and I’m recording the sequel to my audio book “The Audacity of a Good Heart” entitled “The Audacity of a Healed Heart”.

To learn more about Rob Hill, Sr. visit www.robhillsr.com or follow him on social media via @robhillsr!

 

 

 

Motivational Monday 4/21

 

No one event, circumstance, job, or relationship has the power to define who you
It doesn’t matter what people say. Keep looking up and moving forward.

 

 

 

My Sista’s Business…Lynell Shantae

Hello Pretty ladies! My name is Lynell Medlock. I was born at the Westchester County Hospital, my mother went into labor with me while in the Westchester County Jail. To my knowledge I spent the first 6 months of my life in the nursery of the jail. Now normally with the way my life started one would think “doomed” since birth, however God had other plans for me and over myself I’ve declared “Purposed” since birth. Although I’ve faced many challenges growing up such as depression, rejection, suicide attempts, living from household to household the one thing that ALWAYS remains consistent in my life is God. A very wise man once told me “Stop using your past as a crutch.” I thought about that advice over and over until it became embedded in my mind and my sob story to me, no longer was a sob story it became a JOY story. I found joy in my go through and I began to thank God for allowing me to go through all of those things because it dawned on me that my PURPOSE is to help others. I realized that I could not help others without first going through certain experiences. You can not teach what you do not know. Although I am still not in the place I would like to be I am definitely taking the necessary steps to reach my set destination. Right now I am working 2 jobs as well as a full time student in college. Yes, it’s tough sometimes but I understand that anything that is great does not come easy. If I can take a handful of Jokers that I was dealt and turn it into a handful of kings and Queens, I know for sure that YOU can too. So to all that are reading these words I wish you nothing but success, prosperity, wealth and most of all PURPOSE! Stay Pretty

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I AmPurposefully Pretty Campaign 

What traits does a #PurposefullyPretty young woman possess?

1. To be PurposefullyPretty is to accomplish your goals no matter what.
2. To be PurposefullyPretty is to be your OWN person. Do not let anyone bring you down.
3.To be PurposefullyPretty is to be a leader amongst your peers.
4. To be PurposefullyPretty is to do whatever you can to help your community.
5. To be PurposefullyPretty is to be involved in extra-curricular activities that give back to your community.
6. To be PurposefullyPretty is to possess passion, perseverance and patience.
7. To be PurposefullyPretty is to break barriers in the area that you find interest in.
8. To be PurposefullyPretty is to be ambitious, driven, confident and dedicated.
9. To be PurposefullyPretty is to be kindhearted and persistent.
10. To be PurposefullyPretty is to help others find and fulfill their purposes.

Do not hesitate to participate in our #IamPurposefullyPretty campaign. If you feel as if you are a young woman who believes that they are PurposefullyPretty, let us know why! Upload a picture or create a video expressing what makes you PurposefullyPretty, from now until July 13th.  Help us outreach, teach and inspire young women in our community. “A pretty face without anything to back it up is null and void”.

Les Brown….

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 “You have GREATNESS within you!”
Learn Speaking Secrets from 1 of TOP 5 world speakers , Les Brown, Saturday, October 26

9AM to 1PM in the Deluxe at the Old National Centre.

Brown joins us for the 106.7 WTLC Success at Six Power Brunch with Les Brown.

Don’t miss this chance to “Uncover the GREATNESS in You!”

Purchase your tickets for the Les Brown Power Brunch Below:

http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/05004B308EB0727F