Motivational Monday 3/20

Image result for meaningful life photos

8 week “Life Work” Series (week #7)

Personally Speaking…

We all want to live a life of meaning, joy, and fulfillment. But let’s be honest… it’s not easy!

Finding our passions, defining our purpose, and balancing all the many aspects of a complete and rich life… this stuff takes work! 

Living a life that has some kind of meaning is one of the most widely held goals in existence — something by which we motivate and measure ourselves.

While there is no single answer, research has shown that there are several factors that influence our ability to find satisfaction and meaning in life.

Here then are a few pointers:

~ Figure out what activities leave you energized. There are other types of activities that make us feel alive. These are activities that we look forward to, that we focus on completely, and finish having more energy than when we started. These are also the activities that we give our best energy to and that we try to make the highest quality.

    • Energizing activities are often our hobbies, like working on machines, collecting items, writing, gardening, cooking, and so on.
    • The important thing to remember about these activities is that they require movement on our part—it does not mean watching TV or other screen-watching.

~ Determine what activities leave you feeling neutral. Some activities we engage in because they don’t require us to do anything, like sitting and watching TV. These activities don’t drain us, but they don’t energize us either. If your life is predominantly full of draining activities, you look forward to these neutral activities so that you don’t have to do anything else.[2]

    • Neutral activities can also include surfing the internet, playing games on your smart phone, and other activities that involve watching screens.
    • These activities don’t require brainpower, but they don’t leave you feeling refreshed.

~ Decide what activities drain you. In order for life to have meaning, it needs to have purpose. Take a look at the activities that you engage in on a daily basis and evaluate how many of those activities make you feel worn out after you finish them. These are also the activities that you dread doing, having to give yourself a pep talk to get going.[3]

    • These activities are also ones that you find yourself rushing through and not caring as much about how well you do them.
    • For example, if you hate your job, each shift can be considered a draining activity.

~ Decide if your career lines up with this plan. You are probably already thinking about your job and whether or not you should keep it if it is a draining activity. The choice is up to you. You have to take stock of things, like how much your family suffers because of your attitude toward work, and if you would be able to find another source of income if you quit.

    • For example, if you have a family who is tired of watching you come home every day without any energy, you may want to think about getting a different, less draining job; cutting back your hours instead of quitting; or finding a new source of income altogether, like starting your own business selling the product you make (or the service you perform) with your energizing activity.
    • You can also consider going back to school while you still have your old job if you feel that a different career would make your life more purposeful and meaningful.
    • The important thing, though, is to find a balance among energizing, neutral, and draining activities.

~ Be willing to explore new pursuits. Being open-minded about trying new things is also important when considering how much of your life is purposeful and meaningful. Trying something that you have never tried before is the perfect way to discover energizing activities. Doing so can also help you discover a purposeful existence.

    • You can try new activities that are easy to learn about on your own through the internet, like blogging, cooking, and gardening.
    • You can also find an expert in your area who is willing to teach you how to do something new, such as taking pilot lessons or signing up for a community art class.

 ~ Do For Others  It’s no great secret that giving to others improves our own feelings of purpose and meaning. Giving can take many forms, of course: donating our time, or our talents — or simply lending a friendly ear.

Helping others seems to be strongly correlated with increased life satisfaction. Lending a helping hand can provide a sense of purpose for us, young and old.

One fascinating aspect of working for the benefit of others is that helping others improves both physical and mental health. In fact, studies show that involvement in community service activities is linked to living longer.




Motivational Monday 3/13

Turn on bulb on green background

8 week “Life Work” Series (week#6)

Toxic People

As we get older we realize that it matters very much who we spend our time with. If we spend a lot of time around people who bring us down and make us feel bad about ourselves, that feeling persists even when we’re not with the mojo-crushing Life by Design three coloured box logoperson. This general group of people — whom we can safely call “toxic” — might resent your progress for any number of reasons. Perhaps they think you’ll no longer be in their life if you improve too much. Maybe they feel like your improvement exposes their own shortcomings. Or perhaps they’re just threatened by the idea of change. It’s rare for a toxic people to totally sabotage your attempts at self-improvement, but it does happen. At the very least, they will certainly slow your progress. More to the point, would you want someone in your life who’s actively opposed to making your life better?

The answer, of course, is no. And yet that can be hard to accept, until you begin to recognize the effects of toxicity within you.

 an old myth that frogs will pull down other frogs trying to escape a pot of boiling water. That’s Removing Toxic People from Your Life | Why It’s So Important

Under the influence of a toxic person, you might second guess yourself on an important decision. You might feel sad, uncomfortable and downright ashamed about your own progress and well-being. You might even take on some of the same toxic qualities you resent in others — something that happens to the best of us — because toxic people have a peculiar way of making you toxic yourself.

How to Cut Out the Truly Toxic People

First, a quick warning: Cutting toxic people out of your life can blow up in your face. That’s part of the disease. With that said, it’s absolutely crucial to remove these people from your life in a healthy and rational way.

So how do you go about removing these toxic people from your life and reclaiming the time and energy you’ve been giving them?

Accept that it might be a process. Getting rid of toxic elements isn’t always easy. They don’t respect your boundaries now, so it’s likely they won’t respect them later. They might come back even after you tell them to go away. You might have to tell them to leave several times before they finally do. So keep in mind that distancing yourself is a gradual process.

Don’t feel like you owe them a huge explanation. Any explaining you do is more for you than for them. Again, tell them how you feel, which is a subject not open for debate. Or, if you prefer, keep it simple: Tell them calmly and kindly that you don’t want them in your life anymore, and leave it at that. How much or how little you tell them is really up to you. Every relationship requires a different approach.

Talk to them in a public place. It’s not unheard of for toxic people to get belligerent or even violent. Talking to them publicly can significantly diminish the chances of this happening. If you run into problems, you can just get up and leave.

Block them on social media. Technology makes distancing more difficult, so don’t leave any window open for them to bully or cajole you. You’ve set boundaries. Stick to them. This includes preventing them from contacting you via social media, if appropriate. Shutting down email and other lines of communication with a toxic person might also be in order.

Don’t argue — just restate your boundaries. It’s tempting to fall into the dynamic of toxicity by arguing or fighting — that is precisely what toxic people do. In the event they do return, make a promise with yourself to avoid an argument. Firmly restate your boundaries, then end communication. You’re not trying to “debate” the person into leaving you alone. This isn’t a negotiation. You can, however, make it less and less attractive for them to keep bothering you. “Do not feed the trolls!”

Consider writing a letter. Writing yourself a letter is a sort of dress rehearsal for an in-person conversation. You’re clarifying your thoughts and articulating your feelings. You can also refer back to the letter later, if you need to remember why you made the decision to cut someone out. Because toxic people often do everything they can to stay in your life, you’ll need all the help you can get.

Consider creating distance instead of separation. Remember the person we talked about above — the one who’s not toxic, but just a drag? You don’t have to cut these people out of your life completely. You just need to create distance by occupying your time with other friends and activities, and agreeing not to feed into their dynamic.



March Chairty ~ St Jude Research Hospital

March Is National Health Month

This month we are taking our $10.00 funds and donating to

St. Jude Research Hospital

st judeThe Mission

The mission of St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital is to advance cures, and means of prevention, for pediatric catastrophic diseases through research and treatment. Consistent with the vision of our founder Danny Thomas, no child is denied treatment based on race, religion or a family’s ability to pay. St Jude is leading the way the world understands, treats and defeats childhood cancer and other life threatening diseases.

The History

Unsure of his life’s direction, a young Danny Thomas sought guidance from St. Jude Thaddeus, the patron saint of hopeless causes. If the saint would point to the path he should take, Danny vowed to build a shrine in his name. Success followed Danny’s plea and soon after, the legendary entertainer set about fulfilling his vow to St. Jude. The result was St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Thank You For Your Support!



Motivational Monday 3/6

Hello All,

As we are into March I wanted to give you a little update of where we are


A friend of mine invited me to co-host a  “Life Work” Series thru a panel of some other movers & shakers for her Adult Learning University students (a coarse they call Life Development). Now I’m not a life coach, I can only tell you what I know for sure and as a busy Chic Momma, Entrepreneur, PR Chic  my life can get a little crazy and with that she needed “real people” on her panel to give their opinion.

I have spoke this many times giving yourself permission in the power of “YES”. When I read Shonda Rhims book “Year of YES” it opened doors for me.  So in continuing in my “Life Work” Series with a few panelists of friends I wanted to share my series with you and notes I’ll be taking from others on the panel with a little more expereience other than myself. However either way, I’m hoping you get something out of this if not just dialouge and amongst your peers that get you shakin & stirred and reinventing your LIFEstyle. 

What is a Power Word?

All words are powerful in their own way, it really depends on who is listening. For example, if you tell someone that you love them in English, yet they only speak Mandarin, then it won’t have any meaning or power at all. That’s why I’ve come to understand that firstly we must be speaking the same language before any words can have power.

In a sense, words have no power at all. It’s more that they are given meaning by the person who is listening to them. I’ll talk a little more about this later as we can radically reduce the power words have over us to make us feel good or bad just by changing one simple thing about the way we listen.

For now though, a power word is a word that instantly empowers you the moment you speak it. Sure, you can also group words together to make powerful statements, but what I’m talking about here is the power to use two simple words to let yourself and others know exactly where you stand.

Those words are, ‘Yes’, and ‘No’.

How And When To Use Power Words

This is the simplest part of all. Say ‘Yes’ when you mean yes, and say ‘No’ when you mean no. If you stick to this rule then you’ll live a happy, healthy, and empowered life. But if you don’t, then you’ll end up feeling frustrated and resentful that you are not being honest with yourself and others.

The most obvious reason that we would say yes when we mean no would be so that we don’t disappoint someone we love or care about, or if it’s in a work environment where we don’t feel safe to say no. The reality is that the only reason any of us say yes when we mean no is because at some level we are afraid of being honest.

Once we recognize that our fear is in control of our life, rather than our courage, then we can choose to take steps to change it. At first you may need to think about a few different ways to learn to say no without it coming across to harsh or blunt. Once you get comfortable with saying no, then of course, that won’t be an issue.

7 Ways To Practice Saying ‘No’ Gently

1. Right now it’s a no from me, but perhaps we can look at it some other time?

2. It’s not really something that I’m interested in but thank you for thinking of me.

3. Hmmm… that’s not going to work for me.

4. It’s actually quite hard for me to say no to people, but I’m practicing being more courageous, so I’m going to say no right now.

5. Yes, I might be interested in something like that at some other point in time, but it’s a no for right now.

6. I’m not available for something like that right now but how would Saturday at 3pm work for you?

7. I’d prefer not to at the moment but perhaps we can look at it again some other time.

The Power of Saying ‘Yes’ to Yourself

When you say no to someone else you are always saying yes to yourself – and that is a very powerful thing to do. Yes, is without a doubt one of the most powerful words in the English language as it has the power to open doors and create a connection like no other word can.

Conversely, when we say no, it typically creates a disconnection between others as how they react to it will depend on their level of self-esteem. People with low self-esteem, or those who have a superiority complex will see it as a rejection or a personal dig at them. Either way, you can’t be responsible for their insecurities so do your best to love them anyway.

The fastest way to allow the power of the word yes to uplift your life is to get really good at saying yes to yourself – all the time. When you get good at that, then you’ll find it easier to say yes to others when you mean it, and then to say no when you mean it.

Every time you say yes to someone when you mean no, you undermine your own self-esteem. This ultimately leads to resenting what you are doing for others, which will affect how you think and feel about both them and yourself.

The PR Girl Toolbox

pr-pic10 Online Businesses You Can Start For Under $500

There was once a time when everyone had to stand in the queue and wait for their turn to have a test or interview and get granted with a job! The times of standing unnoticed in the queue have passed and technology has set in to help millions generate an income from the comfort of their homes.

Today’s Internet offers a huge platform to carry out your own business, be it large or small. With a little bit of dedication and hard work, you can setup your very own online business with a very small investment of just $500 or less. Millions of people are using the Internet to create some some form of income. There are a total of 10 business ideas discussed in the following paragraphs with which you can start your own online business for less than $500. So, Let’s have a look.

  1. Start Your Own Blog

More and more people are becoming self sufficient by starting their own blogs. Starting a blog can be a great way to earn money online whilst still doing something that you enjoy. You can choose the topic and if you do something that you enjoy writing about then it won’t really be like working at all. Gardening, Celebrity Gossip, Shopping, Shoes, Travel, Food, where ever your interest lies, you can blog about it and turn it into a part for full time income.

Now, you might be thinking “How do I make Money” by running a blog! Well, there are a number of ways to make money from blogging. You can simply place ads alongside your content. services like makes this simple and offers handsome payments for posting their ads on a blog or website.

You can also earn from blogs by recommending products and services alongside your content. Doing so will earn you some cash as commissions or as referral fees.

Want to get started? You can have your very own blog up and running in no time with our step by step guide on how to start a blog here.

  1. Create A Website About A Topic You Are Interested In

Creating a website is the most preferred way to do business online. If you are planning to establish a business online, you need to have a face to represent and a website is essential. With a website, you can earn by advertising, product recommendations, direct sales or selling your services.

You can also make very good money by creating websites and then once they are established selling (or flipping) them to other owners or investors. Websites like have made this process much easier in recent years.

However, while running a website you should always try to provide valuable information. People search the internet to look for solutions, so if you can provide solutions to your readers you will be rewarded with more traffic and more earnings.  As traffic flow increases, your website’s value does also, so what are you waiting for. Check out our step by step guide to creating your own website.

  1. Become a Freelancer

There are many websites over the Internet that act as a meeting place for freelancers and clients.Whether your skills lie in web design, coding, app development, graphic design, resume writing, you name it, there are people out there right now who will happily pay you for your help.

You can register yourself on sites like and and declare your areas of specialization. Clients will hire you on different projects relevant to your area of specialization.

  1. Write Content for Other Businesses

If you are fond of writing or have writing as your passion, writing content for different websites and online businesses can be a profitable way to earn some money. Millions of people are making full time and part time earnings from writing articles, books and web content for different websites and online businesses.

There are thousands of websites that offer you the opportunity to earn money by writing general and SEO content for different companies. You can even become a ghost writer and write for bloggers who don’t have time to skill set required to do the job themselves.

Websites like have made it easy for wanna be be writers to get started, you can simply register and start writing, and as long your content is of a decent quality, you can earn good money doing it.

  1. Become A Video Blogger on

How Do I Make Money? Video blogging or vlogs have become a successful way to earn substantial amounts of money. And provides the best platform for the operation. You can develop videos about anything that interests you, and post them on the site to start getting noticed. Once you get into the eyes of the users and earn some popularity, you can make money in a lot of ways.

Following are the ways in which you can earn money from video blogging:

  • Simply by creating a popular video or channel you can earn a % of the ad revenue that generats from your videos.
  • Create a video to provide information on a particular product or topic. In the end, provide the viewer with options to purchase or request for more info.
  • You can put on advertisements or promote products of other companies through an affiliate link at the end of your video.
  • You can find sponsors who would like to put their ads on your video.
  • Accept sponsorships of companies that want to reach to your viewers.
  1. Create And Sell Gigs on Fiverr

Fiverr is an online marketplace that allows anyone to sign up and sell their services for just $5. Your service can be anything from creating a logo, doing a voice over, creating a video testimonial or product review, social sharing of content. If you are interested it is well worth spending some time browsing through the gigs other people are offering on fiverr and seeing which ones are selling. Then you can create your own offer that reflects what you have to offer.

Plenty of people have used fiverr to generate thousands of dollars a month in additional income, and some have even turned it into a full time income.

  1. Import Products Cheaply From China & Sell Them On Amazon

Sites like and even offer the perfect platform to carry out your own buying and selling business. You can simply buy the most preferred products from China on lower prices and resell them on these sites on higher prices. This business can be easily pursued from home and requires very little initial investment if you start small and build your business over time.

Amazon even have a service that takes care of all your product warehousing and fulfillment services for you, so you don’t even have to worry about that. Just buy your product, ship it in bulk directly to Amazon then market it and sell it, and they will take care of the rest.

There are thousands of people who are running a full or part time business doing exactly this. Some even generate up to 6 figure incomes per month with this business model.

  1. Become a Freelance Photographer and Sell Your Photos on Stock Image Websites

Another way to earn money over the Internet is by selling your photographs. If you are a freelance photographer or even am amateur photographer , you can sell your shots on various stock photograph-selling websites and make quite a handsome earnings. Companies from all over the world need photos of just about everything imaginable. road signs, landscapes, doors, balls, grass, trees, beaches, sky-scapes, you name it, people need them and are happy to pay for them. This very website you are reading spends money every month on buying stock images to help illustrate our articles. Someone has to take the photos and get paid for it, so why not make it you?

Check out and to learn more about selling your photos.

  1. Build An Income As An Affiliate Marketer (no need for a website)

As mentioned under point 5, you can earn a lot of money simple by becoming an affiliate marketer. The most interesting fact is you can do the job even if you don’t own a website. You can obviously take advantage of social media sites and video streaming sites, Press Releases and other Web 2.0 sites. Whilst, we personally believe that you will earn better money by having your own website, there is no reason you can’t get started using these methods, and then once you start making some money “upgrade” to your own website or blog. There are many websites that offer opportunities of becoming an affiliate member and earn money by marketing their products and services.

  1. Design Smart, Funny or Catchy T-Shirts & Sell Them Through Facebook (

A creative way to do business is by creating t-shirts and selling them on Start by creating a t-shirt with your own ideas and sharing their pictures on Facebook. Once you get enough likes and people interested will produce the product and start selling them for you. Then every time one of your t-shirts sells, you earn a percentage of the profit without having to invest even a single penny. There are people earning tens of thousands of dollars a month doing this, all you need to do is come up with the ideas and slogans and see what people like and don’t like.


Community Corner…#RockTheREDPump Event

pic-1Know. Act. Rock. Are you in?
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Know. Act. Rock.

Today, we are excited to kickoff Women’s History Month by launching our 9th Annual Rock the Red Pump® campaign. Since the beginning, supporters like you have tweeted, posted, and shared photos and information to help us educate the women in our lives and fight the stigma that continues to surround HIV. And, many of you have done so while rocking some fabulous red shoes.
However, #RocktheRedPump has always been more than a fashion statement. It is a call-to-action for women and girls to know the facts about HIV, take the appropriate steps (act), and own the decisions that we make regarding our bodies and our health (rock).
Know. Act. Rock.
It’s that simple. From now until National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (March 10), we will be mobilizing our networks to stand fiercely in the face of stigma, judgement, and shame and counter those forces with facts, support and sisterhood. And, we want you to join us! After all, the more, the powerful.
Here are some things that you can do to show your support. Others are listed here.

  • If you’re a blogger, sign up for the 2017 #RocktheRedPump Campaign!
  • Register your house of worship to participate in Red Pump Sunday on March 12.
  • Post educational statistics to your networks about HIV. (Need some starters? We have you covered.)
  • Download the square button below and post on Instagram (and Facebook and Twitter), including the hashtag #RocktheRedPump.



Cupcakes, Condoms, and You?

This month, Cupcakes & Condoms® will roll into Charlotte, Fayetteville (NC), Atlanta, and Washington, DC. Women and teen girls are invited to join us for a FREE event packed with female condom demonstrations, dialogue about ways to foster healthy intimate relationships, and delicious desserts. To get additional details about each event, visit the respective pages below.

Is your city not on the list? Drop us a note to suggest where we should go next.

Rock the Red is BACK in a New Venue!

Our signature fashion show and fundraiser, Rock the RED, will is back for the 8th year in a row and will be taking place in Chicago on Saturday, March 18 at Chez (247 E. Ontario, Chicago).
Tickets are on sale now and we hope that you will join us for an evening of style and awareness.
Thank you to our sponsors: AIDS Healthcare Foundation, Chez, and Michael Stars.
Sponsorship opportunities are still available. Email for additional information.

Our financial support is key to ensuring that The Red Pump Project can maintain its efforts to bring important conversations about HIV to the forefront for women and girls in our communities. Please consider making a tax-deductible donation today via our fundraising page.
Donate Now

Thank you!

Thanks for standing with us and other women around the world to recognize the impact of HIV/AIDS on women and girls. ♥
P.S. If you’re on Instagram, follow us there at @redpump as we give you behind-the-scenes and other instant access of what we’re up to.


Community Corner…Employment Opportunity

29th Annual WTHR-TV13 Employment Opportunity Fair
Register online today for the 29th Annual WTHR-TV13 Employment Opportunity Fair (EOF). This year’s EOF will take place on Thursday, July 13, 2017 in the 500 Ballroom of the Indiana Convention Center.
All Employers will receive a 8×10 booth space, 8ft skirted table, identification sign, (2) chairs, and (2)  complimentary boxed lunches with their booth purchase.  This event is open to the public.  Please note last year the EOF event SOLD OUT, don’t miss your chance to be a part of one of the largest career fairs in this area!
CLICK HERE to purchase your EOF Exhibit Space!

Early Bird Exhibitor Application
deadline is March 17th!
Be sure to mark your calendars and save the dates for this year’s exhibition hall – Friday, July 14th , Saturday July 15th, Sunday July 16th. Take advantage of Early Bird rates today.  Standard Exhibit Booths start at $500 for a 10×10 exhibit space a $200 SAVINGS! Corner Booths are $550 and an Island Booth is $650 while they last.  All that is required to secure your space at our EARLY BIRD rate is a 50% deposit before Friday, March 17, 2017.
Thanks again for all you do to make Summer Celebration a success!

Indiana Black Expo | 3145 N. Meridian St. | Indianapolis, IN 46208 | (317) 925-2702|
Indiana Black Expo, 3145 N. Meridian St., Indianapolis, IN 46208

The New Edition Story

After months of teasing and expertly building up anticipation, tonight BET finally airs its 3-part miniseries The New Edition Story. This is a big week for the group who just received their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Whether you are old enough to remember all of their legendary moments first-hand or came to…

via 7 Reasons To Watch “The New Edition Story” — HelloBeautiful

“My Life, My Vibe” March 2017

pic 4

Hello All,

Can you believe the The Evolution! Society is turning five years old this March? We’re growing up so fast, and we’re experiencing more adventures together than ever before. We are tackling new challenges like dazzling the city at cocktail fetes and philanthropic events; and pushing our bodies to new extremes with Zumba. I hope you’ve pushed yourself out of your comfort zone, experienced something new and thrilling, and of course, I hope you’ve met fabulous new friends along the way. As many of you know, this past year has been a transformative one for me.

I continue to feel grateful that each and every one of you is an integral part of our vibrant community and my life. I wish you an exciting new year filled with growth, laughter, and breathtaking adventure. Also, don’t forget we always give you your Motivational Mondays, Wellness Wednesday and “Things We Are Lovely Lately”….so stay tuned and be inspired…many blessings!

We look forward to being of continued service to you and I hope you will enjoy the benefits of our new co-op networking community. Please let us know what you’re doing in your business and community, your feedback is very important to us! Positive Mind…Positive Vibe…Positive Life

What do you plan on doing new this month?



Monthly Affirmation:

Say “YES” to doing something new everyday

always thought about diving, say YES ~ want to take a spin class, say YES ~ want to ask a man out, say YES…don’t hold back own your “YES”.

Monthly Challenge:

Put your phone down and have real conversations J

Book of The Month

“I’m Judging You”


“Join The Movement”

Crystal Dixon CEO/Event Director

The Evolution Society LLC

Like & Connect With Us On:


Motivational Monday 2/27

8 wk “Life Work “Series (week#4)

Lisa Nicholas



Own Your Power By Lisa Nichols



Life is compartmental: You can be effective in one area and be a hot mess in another. When you’re in breakdown, you aren’t necessarily dismantled, your hair disheveled and two steps away from wearing a white gown that ties in the back. You may still wear your flawless makeup and produce stellar results. But some areas of your life might need to be reevaluated.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Consider this: Does thinking about your credit score, your cluttered garage, your work, your health or relationship with your partner energize or drain you? If it’s the latter, then that part of your life is in breakdown and needs your attention.


Sit down with a piece of paper and list these seven environments of your life: relationships, finances, connection to nature, professional network, physical environment, health and spirituality.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: On a scale of 1 (it’s unbearable) to 5 (you love it!), rate how you feel in each area. Ask yourself; Is it okay for me to live like this for the next ten years? If the answer is yes, then it’s a 4 or 5 and you’re trending in the right direction. But if you’re simply tolerating an area of life, then that’s a 3-it may not be in the ICU, but it’s in the waiting room ER. The goal is to move every single area of your life from breakdown (1 or 2) and toleration (3) to absolute joy (4 or 5). If your simply putting up with your wrecked finances, your lack of closeness with friends, here’s the reality: it will become less tolerable over time. And everything you tolerate is taking your energy away from the bliss you could be creating.



In every area of your life, are you running toward abundance and joy, or are you trying to outrun failure? It’s important that you make that distinction. Are you building relationships because you want more love in your life or because you’re afraid to be alone? A fear-based motivation will not last. So what will last? Moving toward possibility.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Ask yourself the following: Am I making relationship that result in amazing love or so that I won’t be alone? Am I working this hard to build my financial dream or to avoid being broke? Am I saying yes because I love to help or because I want to be liked? Share your honest answers with a sisterfriend.


Let’s say you want to launch a new business. You’re consumed with anxiety that you’ll fail. You ask yourself, What if I start this business and it flounders, then what? Answer the question: If your business flops, you’ll go in an altogether different direction. But eventually, you will make more money. In the meantime, your family and your real friends will support in starting again and love you in starting again and love you no matter what. When you breakdown each of your misgivings with answers based in logic rather than in emotion. I will minimize the trepidation and allow you to focus on the possibilities.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Write down a desire that makes you anxious each time you think about pursuing it. Now write down four of the worst things that could happen if you moved forward on this desire. Next write down four actions you would take to bounce back if things didn’t work out. Remember, take the emotion out of your answer, and watch the fear evaporate.


Recall the past 3, 5 or 15 years. What are you most proud of? What have you already done? Rather that starting from deprivation, start from celebration-it’s a far more powerful place to begin. Now take out a favorite notebook and let’s get to work.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Write this heading ” I have already…” and then finish that sentence with your accomplishments. Maybe you’ve already started an awesome career, made a health change, or became a great parent. You’ve done so many things well. Acknowledge that.


What would success look like in each of the seven environments of your life? Picture it. Break it up into milestones. Write that down. Your goal, for example, may be to live in prosperity, but you are deeply in debt. Set yourself up for micro wins and those that grow into macro wins.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: To shore up your finances for example, identify tasks. One may be to develop a working budget that trims your spending. Another may be to negotiate your debt down by calling up creditors. And your finish line? Perhaps it’s to have enough savings to cover all your living expenses for a year. The only way to tackle the large goal is to do one task at a time while leaving the worry about the overarching goal in the distance.


Pay attention to your thoughts and conversations about each area of your life. I’ve heard women say, “I’m trying to make it to the end of the month.” Or “I’ll never find a good man.” A breakthrough is more than an “aha” moment-it’s a paradigm shift in which you limiting beliefs disappear. Your mind-set-what you think, repeat and profess out loud-will become your reality. You can go on as you like, but if you ultimately believe that all the good men are taken, then guess what? That’s exactly what will be true for you.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Replace your old belief with a new proclamation.Try this one: “I am on a path to finding a magnificent person I can share my life with.” Then get out of the house!


We can, map out a plan for a break through, we can meditate on it and pray over it and pray over it, but action is what actually produces change. Folk singer Joan Beaz once said, “Action is the antidote to despair.” I’ll add that action is the prescription for success. You do the work yourself. If financial prosperity is your goal, get aggressive about finding new ways to generate income. Is there a skill set you could develop to create another revenue stream? Or if you crave a better work-life balance, what career shift can you make to carve out more time for yourself and how can you set a budget to make this possible? Or maybe you want frequent in-person time with your mate, your children or your friends. How can you rearrange your calendar and become intentional about scheduling time?

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: Don’t just make a list. Get busy living out your list daily. And celebrate your wins!



Take the quiz and see how you stack up

1. Are you paying down your debt? Yes or No

Power Move: The stress of carrying debt doesn’t just deplete your bank account-it can cripple your health. Start paying down debts one at a time and watch your stress melt away.

2. Do you share a pew with your gal pals? Yes or No

Power Move: Sociologists have discovered that not only does church attendance bring inner peace but connecting with others at your place of worship heightens your sense of joy.

3. Have you truly forgiven those who have hurt you? Yes or No

Power Move: Forgiveness is an amazing gift: Reasearch shows that when we pardon others we also lower our blood pressure and strengthen immunity. So don’t forgive because others deserve it. Forgive because you do.

4. Do you eat fruits and veggies? Yes or No

Power Move: Noshing on veggies has many heath benefits. New Zealand researchers found that study participants who consumed more of nature’s goodies reported feeling calmer and more energetic.

5. Are you groomed for success? Yes or No

Power Move: In a 2011 Harvard study, women who moderate makeup were deemed more hireable. Authentic power comes from within-but a little red lip can’t hurt.

6. Do you hand over your burdens to a higher power? Yes or No

Power Move: You do yourself a huge favor each time you surrender your troubles. Prayer and meditation send the body into a relaxed state, which increases tranquility.


If you answered yes to five or 6 questions: You’re one powerful sister-you’ve set aside life’s biggest energy suckers and you’re giving yourself the nurturing you need to keep your spirits up and your dreams within reach.

If you answered yes to 3 or 4 questions: What’s love got to do with it? Everything-and you could stand to bless yourself with a little more of it. Sure, you’re moving in the right direction, but now it’s time to shift into a higher gear. Take inventory of the areas of your life that may be TLC- deprived and map out a plan to maximize your power.

If you answered yes to 1 or 2 questions: Girl, you need a major life tune-up. Consider a vacay, but to really put yourself back on the path to power, you’ll need to create a detailed plan to get to your breakthrough. Take pledge. and reach out to a pro- a counselor, a coach, a pastor, a financial advisor, a nutritionist-for some direction. We all need a lifeline at some point. Reach for your.


I am unique. My journey has been filled with experiences that have built my resiliency, defined my character and made me a better woman.

I am ready to cash in on my greatness, my brilliance, my God-given possibilities and my prosperity.

I will turn my valleys into my mountaintops, my obstacles into my opportunities, my tests into my testimony.

I love my cinnamon, caramel, mocha and deep chocolate skin, my full lips, my round hips and my kinky hair.

I am a masterpiece of humility, gratitude, godliness and divinity. My beauty is real. My heart is good, and my strength has been confirmed through the test of time with my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

I will show the world how to treat me—and it’s my job to give the world the best example possible.

I have turned my crawl into a walk, my walk into a run, and I’m now turning my run into my soar.

I am unapologetic about my brilliance, untamed in my quest to discover me.

I am no longer asking for permission to be me. I’m giving notice!

Article from ESSENCE magazine June 2013 issue.